The Stories Anxiety Tells Us

I have a good friend who is incredible at what she does. She’s knowledgeable, experienced, respected, and genuinely talented. She knows her job like the back of her hand. Yet every time a new challenge appears, anxiety shows up and begins to whisper.

“What if you’re not good enough?”
“What if this is the time they realize you don’t know what you’re doing?”

It’s the thought of, if things are going well, something bad must be around the corner. That’s the thing about anxiety and imposter syndrome. They don’t care about facts. They don’t care about your accomplishments, your experience, or the evidence sitting right in front of you. They create stories that feel real, even when they aren’t true.

Anxiety has a way of convincing us that disaster is just one step away. It keeps us focused on every possible thing that could go wrong while completely ignoring everything that has gone right. How much time and energy do we spend worrying about things that may never happen. Hours, days, and sometimes years. We rehearse conversations that never take place. We prepare for failures that never arrive. We create entire scenarios in our minds and then react to them as if they’re already happening. It’s exhausting, draining, and soul-sucking. And when we stay in that place long enough, we begin to feel defeated before we’ve even started.

Now, this doesn’t mean we ignore reality or pretend life is always sunshine and rainbows. Difficult things happen. Disappointments happen. Challenges come our way. But those possibilities shouldn’t become our primary focus. What if we gave equal attention to the things that have worked out. What if, when anxiety begins to spiral, we intentionally remembered the countless times we made it through something hard?

The presentation that went well.
The challenge we figured out.
The promotion we earned.
The friendships we’ve built.
The obstacles we’ve overcome.
The prayers that were answered.
The moments we thought we wouldn’t survive but somehow did.

Anxiety wants us to focus on what could go wrong. Gratitude and perspective remind us of what has already gone right. When the spiral begins, pause and ask yourself:

What evidence do I have that I can handle this?
What has gone well before?
What strengths have carried me this far?
What if things work out?

Maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate every anxious thought. Maybe the goal is to stop giving those thoughts the loudest voice in the room. You are not the worst-case scenario your mind has created. You are also the person who has survived every difficult day you’ve faced so far.
And that’s worth remembering.

xoxo

damalia

Reflection

“After I wrote this post, I sent it to my friend to read and let me know her thoughts, not telling her it was a love letter to herself. I just wanted her to see herself the way everyone else sees her. When she read it, she cried. It reminded me that sometimes people don’t need advice. They need a mirror that reflects back their strength when they’ve forgotten it exists.”